Maybe it’s my two-decade long background in theatre performance that sometimes undermines my enjoyment of blogging.
As an actor, I’m used to certain conventions. You get on stage, the lights go up, and you give your part all you’ve got. Whether it’s spoken word or a monologue or being a character in a play, that’s what you do. And at the end, the audience applauds. It’s a convention – yes – and there are definite differences in the quality of applause from show to show. The quality of the applause is a language of its own. You can feel when people have been moved deeply, or when they’ve been thoroughly amused, or when they’ve ‘liked’ it, but not loved it. But I’ve never not received applause. And in that moment, you know you’ve been seen. Heard. It’s like a form of closure for the actor, the full-stop at the end of the play. Or perhaps one could look at as an exchange of energetic currency. Performance for applause.
Playwright Samuel Beckett explored this idea in many of his plays; that to exist was to be perceived by another. His characters are constantly asking each other:
“Can you see me?”
“Can you hear me?”
His plays explore the existential angst of searching for meaning of one’s existence.
Sometimes writing a blog post and publishing it, and seeing the statistics that indicate people are visiting, but not having any indication what people are responding to, liking or not liking, can feel like this.
It can feel like performing on a stage with bright lights in your eyes, and at the end, nobody applauds. The audience just gets up and leaves.
Me + Blogging = Existential Angst
Maybe as a writer, I’m just not wired for blogging. Maybe I’m more of an exhibitionist than I think I am. Maybe that’s why I enjoy performing my work live so much. Or maybe I’m just ridiculously insecure.
When you submit work for specific submission calls, you (mostly) get a clear ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ from the publisher. To me, even a ‘no’ in this instance is better than that metaphorical empty auditorium.
Sigh …
Hello. Is anybody out there?
Kore Desires 
I hear you~ and I know what you mean. It’s a pebble tossed in the pond kind of thing. your words will find its shore.
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Hey there. Thanks so much for commenting! I deliberated putting this post up, as I didn’t want to sound whiney. But I do actually feel more authentic for expressing it. Part of wanting to start a blog was to create dialogue around subjects I’m passionate about, an when I see i’m getting lots of views, but no comments, it’s disheartening.
I do wish it was solid established ettiquette to leave a comment on someone’s blog if you decide to follow them. I’m not complaining about my Follows or my visitors. i just wish they’d comment more, as that’s the only clear data I can gather on what readers actually thnk. And I love debate, and engagement. But I too, am sometimes guilty of reading and not commenting. Time is sometimes a factor, as is feeling that if you comment, you should have something stand-out to say… whereas just a single ‘I enjoyed x about your piece” statement is wonderful to receive. Anyway – we keep blogging onwards!
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Not Whiney! I know you voiced the thoughts of other bloggers and you expressed it well. Sometimes I resign to the mindset of ‘Write like no one is reading’ (dance like no one is looking, sing like no one is listening, you know those kitschy droll anecdotes) and not be distracted or concerned about whether or not any one is paying attention. Kind of goofy I suppose, but for me writing is a way for me to sort out my head and make sense of the nonsense of living in this world. But it’s true what Beckett said. Is that good or bad I don’t know, but we all strive to be perceived nonetheless to some degree whether we acknowledge it or not.
And yes the ‘like’ button is rather facebooky, but I understand time constraints of writing a comment, and I suppose its at least a symbol of some acknowledgment of being noticed. I’ve enjoyed reclining out into this pleasant banter~ 🙂
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‘Write like no-one is watching” – Hmm … when I want to do THAT, I use my good old-fashioned paper journal and pen. 🙂 Reminds me that people blog-write with lots of different motivations too … Thanks for stoppin’ by! I enjoyed the chat too. (Hope your misty spell has cleared).
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I don’t think you’re being ridiculously insecure about this. It’s natural to want to get feedback. I bet this is something most bloggers grapple with. Even the ones who get 100 likes in a post. Because even with that kind of response, there often are just a small amount of comments. It makes me wonder if those people read the post, or they like the post because they hope the author of the post will like their posts back. Maybe I’m being cynical about that. Don’t get me wrong — I like when people click the “like” button on my posts. It’s nice to have that. But it’s even better when someone leaves a comment, showing that they actually read the post. Still, I know everyone doesn’t have the time to read tons and tons of posts — so I’m grateful when someone takes the time to read a post that I’ve done.
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… And I can tell you REALLY read that post because you quoted a phrase that was towards the end of it – so thankyou! Relieved I don’t sound ‘ridiculously insecure’. Yep, comments are wonderful. Comments are like little gifts to me – I get excited opening the email notification. To some extent, I’d rather have less Followers, If I could have more engagement with the ones that do follow me. And I think your little bit of cynicism is ok – It’s bound to cover the behavioural motivations of a certain percentage of people! 🙂 Thanks for dropping by, August.
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I like description of comments as little gifts — very fitting 🙂
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I’m here. I might be slow at commenting but I am here. Blogging, for me, feels like standing on a balcony delivering a monologue/rant/plea. I’ve learnt not to expect feedback but it is nice when it comes. I guess it’s a fundamental human desire to be heard.
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