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~ Adrea Kore ~ Erotica, Sexuality and Writing

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Tag Archives: sexual relating

The Lover’s Playground: Friday Flash #9

16 Sunday Oct 2016

Posted by Adrea Kore in Flash Fiction, Friday Flash Contributions

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Adrea Kore, Desire, Flash Fiction, Friday Flash, Oral Sex, Outdoor Sex, sexual relating, sexuality

love-is-love-edited-friday-flash-9

It had become their sweet mid-week ritual.

Pasta at their local trattoria, served in huge parmesan-laced bowls, with a shared bottle of red. Their legs, under the table, intertwined like strands of tagliatelle.

Afterwards, they’d stroll three doors down for gelati, choosing their cool palette of pastel flavours, sampling from each other’s cups as the sweet mounds softened in the summer-night air.

They’d walk home through the quiet back-streets, taking slightly different routes, yet always arriving at the playground.

Carrie had come to think of it as their playground. Their twilight play-time world, after all the children were gone for the day.

Along the back of old wooden palings separating a back yard from the playground, the words “Love is Love”, in florid spray-painted flourishes, always made her smile. They had joked that the graffiti artist was no philosopher.

Chris would settle her on the swing, seat generous enough to cup the ample curves of her very grown-up buttocks. Standing behind, he’d wrap his arms around her, swaying gently, allowing the swing to take their gravity. Then he’d start to push her, sending the little girl in her skyward, squealing, higher and higher.

Carrie had come to think of it as their playground. Their twilight play-time world, after all the children were gone for the day.

One night, while she was still dizzy from the swing, he knelt in front of her, running his hands up the inside of her thighs.

“You haven’t got any underwear on.”  He gripped the chains, pulling the swing towards his waiting mouth.

“Too hot …” she murmured, as his tongue delved into her depths. Head back, gasping, she swallowed stars.

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On Not Writing

12 Saturday Sep 2015

Posted by Adrea Kore in On Writing, Sexed Texts - Articles & Musings

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

authenticity in writing, Creative Process, femme fatales, Inner Critic, On Writing, Perfectionism, sexual relating, women and anger, Writer's Block, Writing Process

writers-block

This is a piece of writing about not writing. Every writer experiences this in their own uniquely terrifying way. If we peered into the psyche of every writer, we’d see this amorphous chimera of a creature;  the tangled roots of the writer’s particular creative wounds, childhood patternings, beliefs around creativity, purpose, and work attached to the underside of its ravenous belly, feeding it toxic information that is then passed onto the suffering writer. The litany of  intricate causes and contributing factors in what is commonly known as “writer’s block” is extensive and exhaustive.

Sometimes, all a writer can do is write about not writing.

The curse of perfectionism  is a close cousin to addiction. Combine that with an aberrant condition that I call ” fear of lack of an idea”, and what you get is a challenging psychological bind for someone who loves writing as much as I do.

As a younger creative, I  too experienced it as a BLOCK; a monolith of total and utter nothingness. I would desparately want to write fiction, but my inner critic had strong opinions about the right  kind of ideas that constituted true creativity. Very often I would feel a kind of constriction, like someone had their hands around the very part of my mind where the ideas were attempting to flow out. Pen poised on the page, the sense of an imminent outpouring would be reduced to a laboured trickle of half-birthed sentences, scratched-out phrases and jeering blank space.

a mad girl wearing a straight jacket in front of a typewriter

So I resorted to copious journal-writing. There, my inner critic couldn’t thwart me, and if I read back over them now, there are so many sections where my recurring themes and emerging style are apparent. For example, I have always written about the sexual experiences I was having at the time in my journals. And its connection to body image, relating, gender dynamics, and love.

As a younger writer/ theatre-maker, I chiselled patiently away at the block I seemed to have around taking my creative impulses seriously, and then cultivating sustained, loving attention to bring them into being. I had enough ‘successes” to challenge my Inner Critic. I doggedly did Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way”, the blocked artist’s rite of passage.

Yes. Every damn list and arduous Morning Pages session, every painfully self-absorbed excavating-your-childhood  AGAIN exercise.

I had to cure myself of my memories of being a precociously bright child, who could create clever, pretty things three times as fast as anyone else my age, winning adult approval with seemingly no real effort on my part. My creativity process up until middle adolescence was like lighting a fire. It started with the spark of an idea, and with easily-found twigs and branches, very quickly flourished into a crackling, marshmallow-toasting fire.

Gather round. Look what I made.

Sometimes it even felt accidental. I did what I did, but I couldn’t really get the hang of how I was doing it before I was winning first prizes in short story and poetry competitions, and representing my primary school for an essay-wriitng competititon on some dull civic theme.

The problem was, I didn’t trust my own creative writing voice as a young adult, and I didn’t value or even see the subjects I wrote well about. I wanted a different kind of creative voice. I didn’t know what that sounded like exactly, but it alienated me from my own developing voice for many, many years. I also hid my creative writing in my theatre-work as an actor, director and publicist. I hid it in the writing of  short scripts, radio plays, monologues, programme notes, theatre press releases, theatre company manifestos, character exploration.

Now, most often, as a published fiction writer taking my writing seriously, there’s actually effort involved. (What?!) I can still fluke a 20-minute publishable flash fiction piece or a decent poem written over a coffee every now and then. But mostly, patience and effort are now involved. Experience has taught me over the last few years that when I tend to any of my ideas for a piece of creative writing, I generally get a creative outcome I’m satisfied with.

So, why, lately, have I regressed to an earlier phase of my creative development, and stopped trusting my ideas? Rather than taking them out for coffee, and listening to what they have to say, I’m circling them suspiciously, trying to glean information from them without getting too close, like an email one suspects might contain a destructive virus.

Why do I feel again the near-lethal grip of my perfectionistic persona around my ideas, throttling them as they attempt to express themselves on the page or the screen? Continue reading →

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Sexual Hauntings: Touching Mystery through Writing Erotica

12 Wednesday Aug 2015

Posted by Adrea Kore in On Writing, Sexed Texts - Articles & Musings

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Adrea Kore, archetypes, author intent, erotic fiction, erotica, Female Ejaculation, Female Sexuality, Luce Irigaray, multiple orgasms, On Writing, Sexual Mysteries, sexual relating, sexuality, Tantra, women writing sex

Away with my lover last weekend, I experienced something sublimely inexplicable, yet familiar, during foreplay. An explosion of silver sparks danced across the inside of my closed eyelids as we kissed deeply. These sparks are always accompanied by intense pleasure, and a feeling of closeness to my partner. Yet they also feel magical, and remind me of the idea in quantum physics (and in the Moby song “Stars”) that we humans are made of the stuff of stars, that we too can shimmer and gleam.

Sparks and Stars

In a recent post on what makes a piece of fiction erotica, I touched on authorial intent, and I want to delve into this from another perspective here. The issue of intent for the writer is perhaps continuously evolving, shifting as one’s writing evolves. Intent is a drive, a strong motivation to write about certain subjects in certain ways, in the hope of certain outcomes. I believe intent is closely linked in with desire, but also our core values as experiencing, exploring beings.

One of my core beliefs is that we are more than just bodies; we are also energy, soul and spirit. So, when we engage in sex, we aren’t merely bodies grinding against one another. We cannot but share and merge our energy. Tantra is a practice and philosophy that reflects my beliefs, and I’ve been exploring it, both practically and theoretically, for almost two decades now. Tantra is a Sanskrit word that means “weaving” and aptly,  it weaves a spiritual philosophy developed over centuries with sexual and meditative practices. I’m drawn to it it also as a framework that acknowledges, supports and accepts the concept of a multi-orgasmic woman. And men, for that matter. Tantra was a world I felt confidently at home in. I was multi-orgasmic before I was Tantric, but Tantric practices such as breathing and visualization, as well as a more precise anatomical knowledge have definitely given me tools to strengthen my ecstatic experiences.

The shadow sides of our sexual psyches also intrigues me, and I see sex as a way of expressing different aspects of ourselves. Classical Tantra doesn’t encompass this side of our sexuality, but archetypal theories do. We can think of these other aspects of ourselves, like Jung did, as archetypes: the Vixen, the Warlock, the Witch, the Warrior, Venus, Pan. Through sex, we can put aside our everyday selves, and delve into other aspects of the psyche; we can allow them to come out and play.

… writing erotica is my own personal creative liminal zone, the point where sex merges into language, language into sex; two of my enduring fascinations.

Additionally, I take delight in the theatrical elements of sex; creating mood and atmosphere, using elements of costume and role play. Ahh, you mean kink, some of you will say, and yes of course many kink practices borrow from theatre. But kink is a loaded word, and one can play with all of these elements (even being tied up) without identifying as ‘kinky’. I did these things for a long, long time before I knew there were such concepts as kink or BDSM. I am inherently theatrical, creative and sensorily curious. I like to think of creative ways to enhance sensation. So these things drove me to dress up, put blindfolds on my partners, ice their nipples, tie them to tables. And to desire similar things done to me.

About five years ago, I began a Tantra teaching course. I didn’t complete it for lots of reasons, some of them, sadly, traumatic ones. But what I also realised is Tantra doesn’t encompass all of who I am sexually, nor how I want to explore sex. Around that time, I’d also written, performed and had my first erotica piece published. Why did I become an erotica writer, and not a sexuality educator?  Although the desire to run workshops on writing sex and exploring fantasy is definitely a future possibility, I can’t fully answer this question at present. Except to say that I need to be creative, and writing erotica is my own personal creative liminal zone, the point where sex merges into language, language into sex; two of my enduring fascinations.

I am (benevolently) haunted by certain intense, ecstatic, mysterious moments and discoveries on the map of my sexual experiences. More intriguingly,  it is those moments and sensations that seem beyond language, or logical explanation (or both) that haunt me; I am pulled back to the page time and time again, to the challenge of translating these most visceral, sometimes ethereal sensations into words and imagery. I write erotica partially in order to record these elements, but also to revel in the mystery.

In writing this list, I’m not trying to validate these moments as logical, nor am I trying or explain them. I’m simply naming them as a list of experiential “touchstones” that keep me connected to the mystery of sexuality, and keep me writing about sex. In fact, part of their personal portent for me, is that I don’t understand some of the experiences I’ve had intellectually. My body understands them. My senses felt their absolute veracity. It’s a searing contradicition, this knowing and not-knowing, and writing erotic fiction gives me a space to  both engage with and contemplate this paradox. They are  not puzzles I need to solve, rather they are mysteries I want to contemplate. Perhaps that’s also why I didn’t take the sexuality educator path.

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The Science of Stress, Orgasm and Creativity: How the Brain and the Vagina Conspire in Consciousness

03 Tuesday Mar 2015

Posted by Adrea Kore in Reviews, Sexed Texts - Articles & Musings

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

conscious sexuality, Creativity, Female Orgasm, Female Sexuality, Naomi Wolf, reviews, sexual relating, sexuality / healing, Tantra, Vagina

This article by Maria Popova over on Brain Pickings discusses and summarizes ideas from a book I cannot reccommend highly enough – Vagina: A Biography by Naomi Wolf.

As a young twenty-something emerging feminist, her incisive and polemic The Beauty Myth informed and shaped my intellectual and academic life; articulated clearly so many things I had observed and felt. This book has less of a “whack’ for me as a long-term practitioner of Tantra – something Wolf is just discovering in this book – but it insightfully links and co-relates many aspects of female sexual health and its relationship to creativity, productivity, and general ‘aliveness’ in women. In short – it discovers and maps the vagina-brain connection. And explores what happens when trauma occurs in a way I have never encountered before.

I haven’t been bloogging much of late – life and inner life do not seem to be pulling me towards the keyboard to write articles to share here. One of those reasons is because I myself often notice a complex interconnected link between, energy, creativity, sexual energy and focus. When one or two of these feels ungrounded or is affected in some way negatively by stress, over time it begins to affect other aspects of my life. Writing (everything excepting my journal entries) is often the first aspect to be obviously impacted. And I wonder how many other women can relate to this complex synergy of cause-and-effect.

So – if you haven’t read this book yet – please check this out – then get yourself the book to read the ideas in their entirety. Men out there who want to better understand women, and in particular have partners who have suffered sexual abuse or trauma in their past – read this to better support,  love and understand your woman. Read on …

The Science of Stress, Orgasm and Creativity: How the Brain and the Vagina Conspire in Consciousness | Brain Pickings.

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‘Just a Fantasy?’ – Honouring Our Sexual Imaginations – 1

11 Sunday Jan 2015

Posted by Adrea Kore in Sexed Texts - Articles & Musings

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

Adrea Kore, Desire, sexual fantasies, sexual fantasy, sexual relating, sexuality

Arty nude on bed

“It’s just a fantasy, but …”

How many times have you said this to yourself about a dream or imagined scenario, then tried to dismiss it from your mind? You’ve tried to dismiss this image,  scenario or compelling thought that got you hot, made your eyes sparkle, and gave you – even if for a few moments – a feeling of vitality, or perhaps even power. Then you’ve dismissed it from your mind, and got on with the important business of rational, everyday living.

Or perhaps you’ve had someone close to you say this (a lover or close friend), then divulge something they find hard to express? And their words have seemed cloaked in a tone of shame, embarrassment, or wistfulness.

Why are so many of us conditioned to give so little attention to our sexual fantasies, to not see them as important? As important, say, as that great idea in that last business meeting that got the bosses’ attention, and on following it through, got us a promotion.

The slippery world of advertising is constantly trying to sell us things through tapping into common elements of sexual fantasies, but these ‘packaged dreams’ will never be as unique as your own.

Reframing our ideas about sexual fantasies can bring us into more positive relatCopy (1)darkH&Pionship with our “secret sexual selves” – those aspects we may hide from ourselves and others, feeling that they are shameful, unacceptable or taboo. Yet unearthing and expressing these fantasies often hold the potential to re-connect us to our sexual aliveness and authenticity.

A sexual fantasy can be about:

          What we are doing.

          What is being done to us

          OR both.

It can be about imagining experiences, sensations, or scenarios in which you are directly involved, or watching –or both.

Fantasies can be about pain or pleasure or both.

And what one person perceives as pain may be another person’s version of pleasure. Flogging, spanking, neck-biting, nipple-clamping … these are just some examples of activities that individuals may have vastly different responses to. But is anyone wrong for fantasising or not fantasising about these elements? No.

This is the nature of a sexual fantasy: like a signature it is unique to you, and tells a story about you. Where you have been, who you are right now, and where you desire to go.

So what might be ways that we can “give voice” to our sexual fantasies, allowing the whole of our sexuality to speak? I’ll be exploring this more in the next installment of this post, as well as other questions around acknowledging and exploring sexual fantasies.

I’m a relatively new fish in the big blogging pond, but in reviewing my blog stats today, I noticed that my two or three ‘sexual fantasies‘ tags on this blog brought sixteen people to my blog in the last month. That’s a search every second day. That’s quite a lot of curiosity around one particular subject …

This isn’t surprising at all to me. Becoming an erotica writer has increased my ability to pay attention to this part of my imagination. And strengthened my belief that this aspect of ourselves has a vital connection to increased self-awareness, creativity, sexual fulfillment – and healing.

Sleeping Bed by RezoKaishauri

“The erotic can never be restricted to the body alone; the imagination always plays a part.”

Margaret Reynolds (Erotica Anthology)

Over the coming weeks, I’ll be posting more on this topic. Recently I ran a workshop at a weekend festival around sexuality on this very topic, which I’ll also be drawing some observations and material from. I’d love to hear your thoughts on sexual fantasies, too. Come on – let’s make it a conversation … I hate monologues.

Stay tuned, and meanwhile, sweet, sexy dreams …

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Jodi Ellen Malpas: ‘Since Fifty Shades women have become addicted. They like to read about sex’

01 Monday Dec 2014

Posted by Adrea Kore in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

erotica, sexual relating, sexuality

It appears that reading erotica can help your sex life … and I’ve certainly had my own interesting feeback on the effect my stories have had on readers.

I’ve had emails and seen women at signings who have said that reading erotic literature has opened their minds and massively improved their sex lives. When you’re in a marriage for a long time you get regimented sex – you go to bed, he does this, you do that – and it gets boring. Reading erotica can certainly give women inspiration, and many of them have come back to me very pleased. A lot of men are thanking the explosion of erotic literature. I get loads of emails from happy husbands.

via Jodi Ellen Malpas: ‘Since Fifty Shades women have become addicted. They like to read about sex’ | Life and style | The Guardian.

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Adrea Kore

Adrea Kore

Adrea is a Melbourne-based freelance erotica writer/performer & developmental editor. She explores the rich diversity of feminine sexuality, focusing her lens on themes of desire, fantasy, arousal and relating. She publishes fiction and non-fiction. & is intrigued by both the transcendent and transgressive aspects of sexuality. She's working on her first themed collection of erotic stories. Most recently, Adrea has short stories & poetry published in the following anthologies: "Licked", "Coming Together: In Verse", & "Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica 13" - all available via Amazon.

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